Ok here we go again. I have requested an increase in my VA comp due to the IBS and the PTS getting worse. My PC doc says my IBS is severe, VA says its mild. Whatever, all I know is it hurts and I shit way more than I should. Is it any wonder I weight in around 127 to 130 pounds?? Im 6 feet tall for shits sake, I should weight in around 160 or so. Yea its mild my ass. Trust me I have changed my diet, I have all but eliminated sugar and I have cut back on a lot of not so good food. I do not eat at fast food places anymore at all. I take fiber suppliments also. All I can do is lay the blame for the IBS on the PTS. That shit is getting wicked. Im having more night mares and my startle response is getting out of hand. I get pissed pretty easy too plus I am usually depressed and in a foul mood. This morning I woke up feeling just shitty as hell and I was pissed as hell. I dont even know why I was pissed. It had to have been a night mare I dont remember so well. Good thing I guess. My head doc at the VA had called
me yesterday so I returned his call and although I didnt talk with Doc Sandstrom I did talk to another guy and he was asking me if I wanted to try another drug. I dont remember the name of it but it is an anti depressant/ sleep aid. I told him Ill try it, but Im a little leery of it. Ill do plenty of research on this before I jump. I don't need another suicide drug, or a drug that interferes with my sexuality or performance. Not going there again, I came way too close to poppin myself once before and I am not going to take that risk again. Yea ok never say never. Ill try the drug mostly so I can tell the doc how I feel on it. I have to play their game for a little bit so ya know right. Hopefully I'll make it through this. Im asking for 70%. That should put me in a good spot with income. If Martha and I stay together it should bail us out. There is a catch though. My appeal will take close to, if not more than 14 months. 14 fuckin months. The world will have changed by then. A lot. Good chance I wont be able to hold on to the house. That really sucks but at least I can say i lived in my own house for a while, and its really not my house, its Martha's. Her Dad paid for it once and now we are paying for it again. Damn life truly sucks sometimes, ya know..catch ya next time... happy trails.....
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