Pain is not my Friend

Temp. 43 degrees
Humidity 97%
Dew Point 42 degrees
Pressure 29.04

       Ugh.... Ya know when I as younger I was taught that as a man you need to ignore pain.I was raised that no matter how bad it hurt or how hard you got hit you must never cry. Ever. I was that kid that didn't cry. I am the only person that I know that didn't cry when Ol Yeller died. Well my point being is that a couple days ago I rubbed, mind you just rubbed the side/top of my foot against the carpet. It hurt like hell when I did that. Put tears in my eyes. So the rest of that night and most of yesterday my foot hurt really bad. Now get this. I have a bruise that covers almost half my foot. Today my foot hurts pretty bad and the bruise is still there but not as noticeable. So now there's one more thing that is wrong with my body. It's bad enough that my feet hurt so much sometimes but now are they going to bruise every time I brush against something? I was just starting to get used to one thing then there's something else. Sheesh. I suppose if I look at it one way things could be oh so much worse. It's really hard to wrap my mind around some times. Fuck man I used to move furniture and other demanding kind of jobs. Now if I can walk my puppy in the back yard more than twice a day then I am doing pretty damn good. Sometimes I can just hate what has happened to me or should I say my body. I read some where not too long ago that a man with fibromyalgia said that in some strange way that if his pain just all of a sudden stopped that he would miss it. I can understand that line of thought. I can also understand the saying that goes something like my pain doesn't hurt anymore. See I guess one gets used to a certain amount of pain. Kinda like getting used to cold weather? Naw.  I can ignore it most of the time and sometimes I can even make like I'm not really sick when I am. Just like I used to be able to look like I was warm and toasty when in fact I was freezing my ass off. I don't know. Well I did figure out why I've been feeling crappy the last couple days. I dropped down too fast on one of my meds. I was suppose to be coming down from 400mg a day to 350 to 250 and so forth until I am done.  Well..... oh dopey me skipped a couple hundred mgs the last couple days and I have been suffering the effects of withdrawal. I caught back up a little tonight and I feel much better. Plus I was able to eat and that helped a ton. Sometimes I can't eat. I get to were I am hungry to the point of being sick and there's nothing that I can handle. I don't throw up, but sometimes the nausea is pretty bad. Oh boy its like a roller coaster. Well I think it is time to close this out and smoke some more medicinal.   Semper Fi.

The Weather

Temp 39 degrees 
Humidity   100%
Dew Point is 39 degrees
Pressure is 29.62 & raising.
A Dense Fog Advisory is in Effect until 9 A.M.

  Well as you can see the weather is pretty crappy out. The low pressure isn't stopped by my walls like the wind and the rain are. I'm pretty sure it's the weather now that goes a long way to making me sick. Although that is not the only way or thing that can make me sick. Damn I hate feeling crappy 8 days of the week. A lot of times I feel bad but I don't let anyone know I'm sick. Way too much of what I want to get done is not getting done. And I don't hold out much hope for tomorrow either. I am going to try to get the puppy up town in the morning before lunch. Hopefully any way. But for now I am going to sign off. I shall continue this some other time.  

Another Day in Paradise.

Ok so today was pretty rough.I was able to get my puppy out side for some training and some running. That was good. The weather wasn't the best today at all. I'll put all that info down at the end of my post.I have been having problems with my fibro, damn I hate calling it mine. I don't want it so why should I call it mine? Anyway I have been haveing problems lately with this shit. I don't know if the fibro is getting worse or the Lyrica is not working or am I beginning to get resistant to the Lyrica? I have seen both my GP, Shes so nice. And I have seen my neurologist.Both in the last two weeks. Neither one had an answer. So my neurologist and I decided to change from Lyrica to Cymbalta.  I have to wean off the Lyrica while at the same time ladder up with the Cymbalta. Damn I am tired of these pills. I went to my first support group meeting last night. I was the only man there. So they are right about one thing. 9 out of 10 fibro sufferers are women. I am going to try to get it together enough to try to start a group here. Crap ya know trying to type with arthritis in my hands is bad enough but when my, no not my, fibro is acting up it makes it really hard to type. Or do anything with my hands. I am going to have to finish this later or just start a new post. Damn I am feeling sick like hell right now. That and my hands are just about done for the day. So I shall bid you all a fond fare thee well.. I shall do the weather some other time.

Another Day

   Damn I can't believe how bad I have been feeling today. It's like everything hurts plus I am on the nausea coaster from hell. I would almost rather have the flu. At least then I'd have a reason for being sick. I really wanted to take my puppy up town for some training today. That would have been fun. Oh well maybe tomorrow after my massage. The winter is starting to lose its grip. There's less snow and more of the summer birds are starting to show up. Oh boy oh boy oh boy summers comin. Yes. It will feel nice to have the sun on my skin again. Sometimes I sit on the floor by our front door and soak up as much sun as I can stand. The sun is higher in the sky now so that little pleasure is gone again until next year. Well hopefully this change in drugs will help(still sounds like I'm sneaking something behind someones back. It's like "Hey Dude man, give me a joint ya know man" ha ha lol) So I asked on Facebook once that if you like the music on the Cymbalta commercial did that mean you were depressed? Ha he who laughs last. Now I have a scrip for Cymbalta. Ah ha. Nope not for depression,but for fibromyalgia. Well now isn't that a hoot. Fucking fibromyalgia. Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. That how it is with my pain. I get so f-Ina irritated at it. I read a short paper from another gentleman with fibro. He stated that he has had this pain so long that if it truly went away that he was afraid that he would miss it. Like an old friend I guess. Same with cigarettes. Hey old hoss my friend don't leave me now I'm afraid of what it will be like with out you. Please why don't you stay a little longer. Fuck that ya know. Yes I know I started swearing in my post's. Sorry. I started smoking cigs again when I drink too. That might stop when Wisconsin bans smoking every where. Anyway I am certainly not comfortable with that thought. Oh no the pain's gone. What do I do now Sonny?? Not to be a fatalist or anything but I couldn't help thinking a few days ago what summer was going to be like. I mean the winter weather fronts(doesn't seem to matter what kind of front) have been pretty rough on me this season. Oh boy. But at least the summer fronts have a tendency to move through a little faster. Worse weather fronts but faster. Damn I cant win for lose with the weather. Crap too bad I can't bet on the pony's on line. Well not legally anyway. Mm Never thought of that before. Naaa I'll get myself in a whole world of hurt that way. Ya know I think I started out writing tonight with a point and now I can't remember just what that point might be. Yea I don't feel like reading it again. I will but not now. I have this new touch screen computer. Pretty cool. I can do everything by just touching the screen. Although that has proven to be painful to do for too long. It hurts my arm to hold them up for very long. Like about 5 minutes if I really suck it up and force myself to hold my arms up that long. Its more like two or three minutes. After typing this out my fingers and hands are pretty sore so I think that I shall sign out for now. Have a good night my fellow fibro mites. Happy trails to you.      

Friendly Places

I thought I might try to post a few links to some really good fibromyalgia and chronic pain sites. One is my own message board. You can check it out stop in and say hi or just read the little bit that I have posted. That will be the first link that I post . Well it is my message board.      
                        http://eauclairefibrocp.messageforums.net/

It's Been too Long.

I haven't posted here since I was rescheduled for my disability hearing. Well to make a long story somewhat shorter I finally had my hearing and the Judge approved my case right at the hearing. Kinda rare but I guess it happens. So now I am approved and I am receiving my monthly check. I still need to get my retro pay but I don't worry near as much as I was. Whew ya know. Since then we have bought a dog, yep a full blood German Shepherd Dog. A big one too. He is still a pup and not even close to full size. I am training him to be my service dog. He can open some doors pick thing up for me and if I really need him to he can brace for me. A little more on him later. My fibro has been running as usual during the time I haven't posted until just a month or two ago. Now I really don't know if I am having a flare or if the fibro is getting worse or the Lyrica is not doing it's job. I saw Dr. Eddy Fri and then on Mon I saw Dr. More. Dr. More is my neurologist and Dr Eddy is my gp. More is taking me off Lyrica and putting me on Cymbalta. We shall see how that goes. I really don't like having fibro. It can be a real drag on life. I go in for a massage on Fri. Boy I can hardy wait for that. Mm I'm not being sarcastic either. I'm also going to book a day spa kinda thingy. That will be soooo nice. I am also going to look into tanning booths. MMmm You ask why? Well for me I seem to respond real well to heat related therapy. Well at least it feels really good when I have the sun on my skin or I am in a warm to almost hot shower. I am also going to check out some hydro therapy But that cost 35.$ a session also. The massage is 33 for an hour too so I guess I have to find a balance. Now I can chase down a therapy that may work. I am getting paid and now we can afford for me to try different things. Maybe even accu puncture. Maybe.. lol. And out of the closet I come with my medical marijuana. Yep I confess. I smoke pot for the pain and for the psychological benefit. Keeps me on a mostly even keel. That and all the other drugs that I am taking. Gee Ma look I ended up taking drugs after all. Fu&*. I wish Wisconsin would get with the program here. We need a legal way to help our own pain management. And if I want to smoke pot then, damn that just what I intend on doing. Can't be any worse than Oxycontin or morphine. And I don't have any thing for my arthritis pain. Capsasion she says. Yea maybe I'll try that again when my arthritis flares up. Like right now. I am typing and that really kills my hands and fingers. I do try to resist as many drugs as I can. I do  have a few anti depressants and a couple of anti anxiety pills also. The fibro still hurts. I haven't been here so for so long I almost feel bad. lol. Kinda like not seeing a good friend for a long time. One nice thing about a blog I guess is that I can leave and come back later and post some more. See ya all later muchacos.