Pain is not my Friend

Temp. 43 degrees
Humidity 97%
Dew Point 42 degrees
Pressure 29.04

       Ugh.... Ya know when I as younger I was taught that as a man you need to ignore pain.I was raised that no matter how bad it hurt or how hard you got hit you must never cry. Ever. I was that kid that didn't cry. I am the only person that I know that didn't cry when Ol Yeller died. Well my point being is that a couple days ago I rubbed, mind you just rubbed the side/top of my foot against the carpet. It hurt like hell when I did that. Put tears in my eyes. So the rest of that night and most of yesterday my foot hurt really bad. Now get this. I have a bruise that covers almost half my foot. Today my foot hurts pretty bad and the bruise is still there but not as noticeable. So now there's one more thing that is wrong with my body. It's bad enough that my feet hurt so much sometimes but now are they going to bruise every time I brush against something? I was just starting to get used to one thing then there's something else. Sheesh. I suppose if I look at it one way things could be oh so much worse. It's really hard to wrap my mind around some times. Fuck man I used to move furniture and other demanding kind of jobs. Now if I can walk my puppy in the back yard more than twice a day then I am doing pretty damn good. Sometimes I can just hate what has happened to me or should I say my body. I read some where not too long ago that a man with fibromyalgia said that in some strange way that if his pain just all of a sudden stopped that he would miss it. I can understand that line of thought. I can also understand the saying that goes something like my pain doesn't hurt anymore. See I guess one gets used to a certain amount of pain. Kinda like getting used to cold weather? Naw.  I can ignore it most of the time and sometimes I can even make like I'm not really sick when I am. Just like I used to be able to look like I was warm and toasty when in fact I was freezing my ass off. I don't know. Well I did figure out why I've been feeling crappy the last couple days. I dropped down too fast on one of my meds. I was suppose to be coming down from 400mg a day to 350 to 250 and so forth until I am done.  Well..... oh dopey me skipped a couple hundred mgs the last couple days and I have been suffering the effects of withdrawal. I caught back up a little tonight and I feel much better. Plus I was able to eat and that helped a ton. Sometimes I can't eat. I get to were I am hungry to the point of being sick and there's nothing that I can handle. I don't throw up, but sometimes the nausea is pretty bad. Oh boy its like a roller coaster. Well I think it is time to close this out and smoke some more medicinal.   Semper Fi.