Subaru test drive .. 22 October 2009

My wife and I went to the Subaru dealer Thursday and took a 2010 Subaru Legacy for a drive. We went out in the 3.6 Limited. The car is very nice and drives good plus it handles like it's glued to the road. Not too mention its pretty fast. Not like it's scary fast or anything but exciting fast. I think that if we get the chance we will buy one. I really like that car.
Well the snow that fell yesterday is mostly gone today and will be entirely gone by this afternoon. I feel much better but still not as good as I could feel. Damn I am beginning to really not like having fibro. Most days are a struggle to get through and I have to concentrate mostly on keeping my mood level. Doing that zaps me pretty hard. How can I get anything done if I have to concentrate on keeping my mood level and doing everything I can to keep from blowing up at something or somebody. Days like yesterday and the day before were very hard days on me and I think I did pretty good at keeping my shit together. This winter is going to be rough but I'm going to do every thing I can think of to try and keep myself straight. Not straight that way. Duhhh I mean straight and on an even keel. I really do need to start making a list of things to do everyday. That will help a lot. Not a big list mind you just a small list with a couple of things on to do on it. That way I will get things done slowly but surely. I am also going to try harder to keep a log. I figured I will keep a log on the computer as it's much easier to type than it is to write. Although typing can be very painful any time I type, it is still easier than writing by hand. Plus I can actually read it later. My hand writing was bad before I had arthritis, now its almost to the point that even I can't read it. This suck's. I think about it once in a while and not only does the arthritis hurt, the fuc*&% fibro hurts in all the same joints plus more. And I have all those nice sneak up and stab me with a sharp knife and give it a twist kind of pains any where any time that are really hard to deal with.They hurt so bad most of the time it's really hard for me to not wince and say something or grab the spot that is paining me at that time. The scale of those random pain shots can range from a 3 or4 to a 5 to 7 and back to a 3 in about 2 or 5 minutes. I just had one in my right hand around the wrist and upper hand area. That one f-in-a hurt. Spiked right up to at least a 7 right away. Sometimes these pains put me very close to tears depending on who is around me. If I am alone I will let it take me over the top to tears but if anyone except my wife is around I try my best to suck them up. I'll let the pain out but not the tears. I might not be able to beat this thing called Fibromyalgia but I am certainly not willing to let it control my life. Thats why I will not capitalize the word anymore. Unless of course it starts a sentence. My hands are getting too tired to type so I have to go now. May the force be with you.